Thursday, February 09, 2006

Jumeirah Jane

1. Original Jane
Has spent most of the last decade and perhaps even more withering away in her bougainvillea-strewn Jumeirah home. Other Janes view a friendship with her as something to be proud of. Her kids go to JESS, she shops at Wafi 'because it's the best', and plays tennis with 'the girls' at the One & Only when her husband's out of town and she's feeling lonely.

2. New Money Jane
Her previous life back home was relatively simple and modest until the 'Dear Husband' found a job here in the desertscape and suddenly both of them transformed their lifestyle. Personifies arrogance, name drops at every opportunity and queues up without shame at the Horse Races for the Ahlan! Mag phototaking sessions. She takes the maid for Spinneys shopping trips to push the trolley and to do the general housekeeping ('I don't do domestics darling!')

Ensures the house is spic and span ('Our maid scrubs the tiles, wipes the roof tiles and lives in a two-by-four room but we make sure she is very much a part of the family!') and religiously attends coffee mornings at the Lime Tree Cafe.

This Jane is generally terrified of moving back home to her modest upbringing and enjoys the bubble life of Dubai. Loses the ability of holding deep conversation and will eventually wither away into insignificance.

3. Jittery Jane
This Jane moved to Dubai a few years ago on a slightly-more-than-modest package and has faced a hard time since. Jittery Jane lives on the outskirts of Satwa but has no qualms calling the locality Jumeirah. On the outside she is very much a Jane but on the inside she fears the extravagant prices that seem to be shooting up even further. She disguises herself under a veil to prevent being spotted at an unfashionable Union co-op outlet and is attracted like flies to a garbage can to garage sales. Enjoys trips to The One with the girls but while the others are shaking in glee with their furniture purchases, she is secretely trembling with fright at the price.

This JJ is finding it increasingly harder to fund her lifestyle, but is horrified at the thought of downsizing to a life of Mirdiff Martyrdom, and possibly exclusion from her current social circles, as they realise she really isn't all that glam.

4. ex-Jumeirah Jane
This Jane bought a villa in the freehold developments and moved south to take up residence shortly after completion. Her bland surroundings reflect her personality - soulless and uninspiring. She lunches at the Lakes, shops at Spinneys at the Marina and does without the whole Lime Tree coffee morning rituals altogether, instead preferring to go to indulge in the wife-swapping that is rife in the new communities.
This species is particularly hopeless.

38 Comments:

Blogger redstar said...

Wifeswapping is rife?!

12:24 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Keef said...

So, no normal Janes to be seen in Dubai?

2:21 pm GMT+4  
Blogger nzm said...

Do you want Plain Janes, Keefie?

:-)

8:57 pm GMT+4  
Blogger secretdubai said...

Was this supposed to rhyme?

Her kids go to JESS,
she shops at Wafi 'because it's the best',
and plays tennis with 'the girls' at the One & Only
when her husband's out of town and she's feeling lonely.


And yes - tell us more about the wifeswapping please. I've only heard the most disappointingly vague of rumours.

2:04 am GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh the brainless Janes are back. There is a cross between 1's & 2's. There are also the ones that want desperately to be American (or fill in the blank) and sends her progenies off to the American School (or fill in the blank), donate her time to said school so she can ingrain herself into the social fibers of best of what America (or fill in the blank) has to offer. The offsprings go to that speicifc school because "all the rest are crap". Can't live without being the center of attention and the main focus of all her friends. Treats her husband like a doormat, and an ATM machine.

Oh boy, I can go on and on. A subject near and not so dear to my heart.

4:54 pm GMT+4  
Blogger CG said...

nomad camels.....I think we walk the same path everyday and encounter the same wannabees too.

5:41 pm GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes , tell us more on the wife swapping !

12:51 pm GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

CG-quite possibly. It's not hard to figure out who I am.

2:19 pm GMT+4  
Blogger desertblog said...

secretdubai it was supposed to rhyme but it all went wrong after the first few lines!
I have heard of one or two swingers parties in Emaarville but can't admit to ever attending one, the selection can't be that great either...

7:36 pm GMT+4  
Blogger marwan said...

"Jumeirah English Speaking School"

Because one can only really, really learn English from JESS.

2:48 am GMT+4  
Blogger CG said...

wrong Marwan.


the wannabees are only at one school. the others dont wannabee cos they already are.

11:33 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Axonsax said...

excellent site, most enjoyable reading, keep it up (so to speak)

If you have time check out my new offering at

http://dangerdxb.blogspot.com/

4:13 pm GMT+4  
Blogger secretdubai said...

have you vanished?!

12:16 am GMT+4  
Blogger Dengrous Boy said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

12:17 am GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What happened to you?
I enjoy reading your blog, More updates plz, kthx.

12:18 am GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice Post ! Why havent you updated your blog lately...your fans are missing you..!!! ;-)


Gautam

2:33 pm GMT+4  
Anonymous Reverend Dick said...

Generic Viagra

5:13 pm GMT+4  
Anonymous Dubai Property said...

It is not a good name for Dubai that someone may call Dubai as desert and sand state. Dubai is now a developed state. One of the biggest examples of its success are its buildings and infrastructure.

2:20 pm GMT+4  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jumeriah Jane's make this place acceptable. I love them.

WJ

9:13 am GMT+4  
Blogger Unknown said...

Are you seeking the hotels with the best rates?! Please kindly visit our website.. Get the special price with the best dealing and free cancellation.. Check these out:

Bookinghotelsdubai

Bookinghotelsbali

Hawaiihotelsdiscount

Allmaldiveshotels

Allzermatthotels

Alljakartahotels

Venicehotelsdiscount

Tophotelsbali

Bandunghotelsdiscount

Lombokhotelsbooking

Hotelsbalidiscount

Balihotelsparadise

Parishotelsholiday

kutabaliresorts

4:49 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Unknown said...

I like it most.Keep it up give more latest post.
Mumbai Escorts

Mumbai Female Escorts

Mumbai Female Escorts

10:54 pm GMT+4  
Blogger sourabh gupta said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:56 am GMT+4  
Blogger sourabh gupta said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:56 am GMT+4  
Blogger Unknown said...

Your blog provided us with valuable information to work with. Each & every tips of your post are awesome. Thanks a lot for sharing. packers and movers bangalore packers and movers marathahalli packers and movers hsr layout packers and movers btm layout packers and movers bommanahalli packers and movers whitefield packers and movers koramangala packers and movers jp nagar

12:45 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Unknown said...

Sacl Movers is a professional packers and movers in all around the Punjab, India and offering outstanding packers and mover’s services for the individuals in affordable price. Our certified and professional movers have much experience in their work and they can quickly shift any type of belongings and they know how to keep save your home goods during your home moving. In t his way Sacl packers and movers in Amritsar,Packers and movers in Chandigarh can be best option for the individuals of Amritsar, Chandigarh, Punjab to securely, carefully shift their home. So if you want to shift your house please get in touch with us, our employees will perfectly help you.

12:02 am GMT+4  
Blogger Top 7 Packers and Movers said...


Packers and Movers in Amritsar
Packers and Movers in jalandhar
Packers and Movers in Chandigarh
Packers and Movers in Jalandhar
Packers and Movers in Mohali
Packers and Movers in Panchkula
Packers and Movers in Pinjore

11:16 am GMT+4  
Blogger nishajoshi448 said...

yes i am agreed with your thoughts

https://sharjah.dubaiposter.com/

10:41 am GMT+4  
Blogger Unknown said...

EZmove - Best Packers and Movers Hyderabad and Bangalore
When you need to relocate from one city to another you probably require assistance of a professional packers and movers company that assists you – right from packing to commuting to unloading and

unpacking.

packers and movers bangalore

movers and packers hyderabad

9:31 am GMT+4  
Anonymous Ashwini said...

EZmove - Best Packers and Movers
Relocating from one place to another is a difficult job to be performed on one’s own as you know it. We provide the one stop moving and packing services from multiple vendors. Our accomplished group will make your moving simple and hassle free.

packers and movers bangalore

movers and packers hyderabad
movers and packers mumbai

12:24 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Amwaj Movers said...

Your Services are good.. ..
movers dubai

10:46 am GMT+4  
Blogger DGtechines said...

Welcome to Mumbaihotcollection.com, home of the finest Mumbai escorts in Mumbai area. Our Mumbai escorts are the finest Mumbai has to offer and will provide an unforgettable Mumbai Escort experience!
Escorts in mumbai
Escort service in mumbai
Mumbai escorts service
Mumbai call girls
Call girls in mumbai
Escorts mumbai
Mumbai Escorts services
Escort service in mumbai
Escorts mumbai
Escorts in delhi
Escort service in delhi
delhi escorts service
Escorts in mumbai
Escort service in mumbai
Mumbai escorts service
Mumbai call girls

11:28 am GMT+4  
Blogger Chennai Escorts said...

There are many call girls service provider in Chennai, but they don’t provide such kid of booking facilities as we provide to our customer with full security for their privacy. As many people come here for their mental and physical pleasure but due to lack of information and security they can’t full fill their needs and demands, so what we do for them we have this booking facilities available for theme where they can book best related call girls by just a simple call button without sharing their personal information with hotel facilities in best price.

Chennai Escorts

Independent Escorts in Chennai

Chennai Escort Agency

Chennai Escort

Escorts Service in Chennai

Call Girls in Chennai

Chennai Escort Service

Independent Chennai Escorts

Russian Escorts in Chennai

8:26 am GMT+4  
Blogger Escort Service said...

Are you looking for escort service and you are in Gurugram? Well we have a five star hotel facility and better sexy girls and we provide the lowest rate of convenience. Female Escort Service in Gugaon

12:10 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Escort Service said...

If you are looking for a good call girls in Gurgaon, then you have come to the right place, we can provide you call girls at a cheap and good rate, for this you can contact us on our web site or our number. Call Girls In Gurgaon With Photo

1:58 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Russian Call Girls In Gurgaon said...

Gurgaon is a famous place for receiving gurgaon call girls. Here call girls are categorized as many categories, you can contact us on our website to get them. Escorts Service In Gurgaon

8:48 am GMT+4  
Blogger Demi said...

generiquefr24.com
Cenforce 100
Cenforce 200
Lasix Furosemide
Tadalista 40
Fildena 150
Stendra

4:06 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Demi said...

Vilitra-vardenafil
Vilitra
Cenforce-100
Fildena 100
Stendra
Fildena
CENFORCE ITALIA

4:07 pm GMT+4  
Blogger Legal Translation Company in Dubai said...

United Arab Emirates, Cabinet Resolution No. (90) of 2021
United Arab Emirates, Cabinet Resolution No. (89) of 2021
United Arab Emirates, Cabinet Decision No. (88) of 2021
United Arab Emirates, Cabinet Resolution No. (96) of 2021
United Arab Emirates, Cabinet Resolution No. (95) of 2021

5:28 pm GMT+4  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Listed on BlogShares